The Transformative Power of Therapy: a Personal Experience
Dive into the profound effects of innovative therapeutic practices revealed through the narratives of those who've walked the path of healing. Gain valuable perspectives from industry experts on the transformative journey of therapy across different age groups and challenges. Uncover common pitfalls in stress management and the art of supporting emotional recovery with compassion.
- Brainspotting: Unlocking Deep Emotional Healing
- Therapy Empowers Teen to Reclaim Control
- Common Stress Management Mistakes to Avoid
- Supporting Men Through Grief with Compassion
Brainspotting: Unlocking Deep Emotional Healing
After powerful and intense therapy sessions, my clients often say things like, "Wow, that gave me a whole new perspective," or "I think we just healed something I've been trying to heal for decades." Many of my clients experience profound, transformative shifts, and I attribute much of that to Brainspotting.
My clients come to therapy with big concerns--wanting to process trauma (Big T or little t), feeling overwhelmed, resenting their family, or struggling with anxiety or depression. In just a few sessions, Brainspotting can help unpack years of stored emotions that have been fueling fear, anxiety, depression, anger, overwhelm, and resentment. By using a "bottom-up" approach, we tap into the brain and body's natural ability to heal.
Brainspotting uses specific eye positions associated with a mind and body connection to tap into the subcortical region of the brain where emotions and memories are stored. The brainspotting processing can feel meditative or like focused mindfulness that is deeply healing.
I frequently work with moms who feel overwhelmed and resentful, sometimes contemplating divorce, feeling like a failure as a mom, or struggling with depression, anxiety, or even suicidal thoughts. When we find a brainspot (a specific eye position), we often uncover that their current struggles didn't just appear in the past few months or years. More often than not, their nervous system and subconscious have been holding onto something for decades.
In just 3-5 sessions (sometimes fewer, sometimes more), clients experience significant breakthroughs. We often heal something deep within that creates space for joy, relief, and a sense of possibility again.
Therapy Empowers Teen to Reclaim Control
One of the most powerful moments I've witnessed in therapy was with a teenage client who struggled with school avoidance and frequently disengaged by putting in his headphones, shutting out both school staff and his emotions. He initially described music as the only thing that could calm the "angry part" of him. Through therapy, we gave that angry part a voice, and he uncovered a deep sense of powerlessness stemming from his parents' divorce. He shared that losing control over his home life, having to share a room and never having his own space, left him feeling unheard and emotionally displaced.
For him, music became more than just a coping tool; it was his internal refuge, a space he could call his own when his external world felt chaotic. By helping him connect these feelings, he realized that his anger wasn't just about school--it was about unresolved grief and the need for control over his own life. As he processed these emotions, something shifted. He stopped resisting support from school staff, began re-engaging in his education, and no longer struggled with truancy.
This experience exemplified the transformative power of therapy--providing a safe space for clients to explore emotions they've buried, name their pain, and rewrite their story. It wasn't about taking away the music that comforted him, but rather helping him understand why he needed it so desperately. Once he made that connection, he was no longer just reacting to his emotions, he was healing them. Therapy didn't just help him go back to school; it helped him reclaim his sense of autonomy, emotional safety, and self-worth so he could move forward without carrying the weight of his past.
As Viktor Frankl once said, "When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." For this client, therapy became the bridge between feeling powerless and discovering his own agency, the ability to understand, process, and reclaim control over his emotional world rather than being trapped by it.
Common Stress Management Mistakes to Avoid
As a psychotherapist, I often see people unintentionally making stress management harder on themselves. Here are some of the most common mistakes I've observed when it comes to managing stress:
1. Trying to "think" their way out of stress without addressing the body.
Many people approach stress purely from a cognitive angle, using logic or willpower to "snap out of it." But stress is as much physiological as it is psychological. Without addressing what's happening in the nervous system -- like racing heart, shallow breathing, or muscle tension -- it's difficult to feel real relief. Simple body-based practices like deep breathing, grounding, or gentle movement can regulate the system more effectively than thoughts alone.
2. Over-relying on avoidance or distraction.
While distraction (like watching TV or scrolling) can give temporary relief, chronic avoidance prevents people from addressing the root of their stress. Over time, this can make stressors feel even bigger and more overwhelming. Developing tolerance to uncomfortable emotions -- through mindfulness, self-compassion, or therapeutic support -- is a more sustainable path.
3. Neglecting basic self-care foundations.
People often underestimate how much their physical health impacts stress. Inadequate sleep, poor nutrition, lack of movement, and social isolation can all intensify stress. When we're physically depleted, our capacity to manage emotional stress is greatly reduced. Addressing these basics is an essential part of any stress management plan.
4. Expecting stress management to "eliminate" stress completely.
Sometimes people approach stress management with an unrealistic goal: to never feel stressed again. A more helpful mindset is learning how to relate to stress differently -- to recognize it, respond to it with care, and recover more quickly. Stress is a natural part of life, but with the right tools, it doesn't have to be overwhelming.
If I can offer one takeaway, it's that managing stress is not about "doing more" but about pausing, listening to your body, and responding with compassion and care.
Supporting Men Through Grief with Compassion
As a men's therapist, I approach grief counseling by acknowledging the complexity of how men experience and express their emotions during times of loss. Many men have been socialized to suppress their feelings or deal with them privately, so it's important to create a safe and non-judgmental space where they can feel free to express their emotions without fear of weakness or shame. I focus on helping them process the full spectrum of grief, which may include emotions like anger, guilt, or confusion. By validating their unique experiences and encouraging them to explore their feelings, I aim to help them build a deeper understanding of their grief, letting them move through it at their own pace.
When supporting someone through grief, it's essential to approach the situation with empathy and patience, especially if they have trouble showing or articulating their pain. Men might be less likely to openly seek support, so offering consistent emotional presence and small, practical gestures can be incredibly meaningful. Encouraging them to engage in self-care, take their time with the grieving process, and express their feelings in whatever way feels right for them can help them heal. It's crucial to avoid rushing them through their grief or offering quick solutions, as healing from loss is often a long and nonlinear journey. The goal is to help them feel understood and supported in whatever emotional state they find themselves.
