9 Techniques to Help Clients Improve Communication Skills
In the fast-paced world we live in, effective communication can make or break relationships. Relationship & Family Therapists are uncovering key strategies to foster better connections, while Founding Attorneys and Mediators are sharing their tried-and-tested techniques. Discover the first insight on showing mutual understanding and validation and the last insight on encouraging vulnerability and empathy amongst the nine expert tips gathered. Dive into this comprehensive guide to transform the way you communicate and build healthier relationships.
- Show Mutual Understanding and Validation
- Implement Reflective Listening
- Engage in Active-Listening Training
- Practice Active Listening
- Use Impact Statements
- Focus on Active Listening
- Develop Body-Awareness in Conversation
- Listen to Understand
- Encourage Vulnerability and Empathy
Show Mutual Understanding and Validation
It's important to recognize that not all conflicts are resolvable. What sustains relationships through tough times is mutual understanding and validation. By showing your partner that their feelings matter, you reinforce the connection between you. Reflecting on what they've said can help convey this understanding.
Use empathetic phrases such as:
For empathy: "I can imagine you feel..."
For validation: "From what you said, it makes sense that..."
To encourage deeper discussion: "Is there more?"
Only after your partner feels fully understood should you share your perspective. Validation doesn't require agreement; it simply acknowledges your partner's viewpoint, allowing you both to agree-to-disagree while maintaining the relationship's integrity.
Implement Reflective Listening
As a family law mediator, I have spent over 20 years helping couples reach amicable, out-of-court solutions—even in highly emotional cases. "Reflective Listening" is a unique approach I often implement while working with parents and couples to resolve conflict. "Reflective Listening" teaches clients to truly hear and acknowledge each other's concerns before responding. This technique isn't only effective for resolving disputes; it can also lay the groundwork for healthier co-parenting relationships by fostering empathy and understanding. Through Reflective Listening, I am able to empower clients to move past misunderstandings, creating a foundation of mutual respect and clear communication.
Engage in Active-Listening Training
One effective technique I use to help clients improve their communication skills is active-listening training. Active listening goes beyond just hearing words—it involves fully engaging with the speaker, understanding their message, and responding thoughtfully.
How Active Listening Works:
Focus and Presence: I encourage clients to be fully present in conversations, putting aside distractions like phones or other thoughts. This involves making eye contact, nodding, and giving verbal cues (e.g., "I see," "go on") to show that they're engaged.
Reflective Listening: After the speaker has finished talking, the listener paraphrases or summarizes what they heard. For example, "So what I hear you saying is that you felt overlooked in the meeting." This helps confirm understanding and shows empathy.
Non-Judgmental Responses: Clients are trained to respond without jumping to conclusions or immediately offering advice. Instead, they focus on validating the other person's feelings and perspective, promoting a deeper connection and understanding.
Practice Active Listening
One effective technique I use to help clients improve their communication skills is active listening. This involves fully concentrating, understanding, responding, and remembering what the other person is saying. During sessions, I guide clients to practice reflecting back what they've heard, asking clarifying questions, and acknowledging the speaker's feelings. This technique encourages a two-way dialogue where both parties feel heard and valued.
Active listening promotes healthier relationships by fostering empathy and understanding. When clients genuinely engage in conversations, they reduce misunderstandings and conflicts. This practice creates a safe environment for open communication, enabling individuals to express themselves more freely and build stronger connections. Over time, as clients become more adept at active listening, they notice improvements not only in their personal relationships but also in their professional interactions, leading to greater collaboration and trust.
Use Impact Statements
For times when someone else's behavior is negatively affecting one of my clients, I teach them to use impact statements. An impact statement is designed to help a person express to another person how a behavior is affecting them. This is helpful because sometimes people are unaware of the negative impact their behavior is having on a person they care about. Other times, people have some awareness but do things to justify their behaviors and rationalize that they are not having a negative impact when they actually are. Either way, impact statements help to raise awareness. They also help clients learn to own their own experiences without blaming or excusing hurtful behaviors. To create an impact statement, think about how the other person's behavior is affecting you, and put it into words. It might sound something like, "When you fail to put things on the family calendar, I make plans thinking we're free, then get frustrated when I learn there's a conflict and have to change things around." This is a jumping-off point for a more in-depth conversation, but it is a powerful move because when you speak to your lived experience, it can't be argued with, denied, or dismissed as long as you stand your ground.
Focus on Active Listening
One effective technique I use to help clients improve their communication skills is active listening. This involves fully concentrating on the speaker, understanding their message, responding thoughtfully, and retaining information. I encourage clients to practice active listening by summarizing what the other person has said and asking clarifying questions.
This technique promotes healthier relationships by fostering mutual respect and understanding. When individuals feel heard and valued, it reduces misunderstandings and conflicts, creating a more open and collaborative environment. Active listening also encourages empathy, allowing clients to connect with others on a deeper level, ultimately leading to more effective and meaningful communication.
Develop Body-Awareness in Conversation
One technique I use to help clients improve their communication skills is something I call body-awareness in conversation. Over my 30 years of experience as a physiotherapist, I've found that body language plays a critical role in effective communication, often more than we realize. By helping clients become aware of their physical posture and how it changes during conversations, I encourage them to use their bodies more deliberately. Whether sitting or standing, we focus on maintaining an open, relaxed posture, as this promotes a calm and approachable presence. Through guided exercises and real-time feedback, I help clients recognize how tension or slouching can create barriers, both physically and emotionally, in their relationships. This technique is not just about posture; it is about aligning the body with the mind to facilitate clearer, more empathetic exchanges.
A great example of this in practice involved a client who was struggling with workplace dynamics, feeling unheard and often misunderstood by colleagues. She initially came in for neck pain due to long hours at a desk, but as we explored her overall posture, it became clear that her physical stance during meetings was contributing to her communication difficulties. With my guidance, she practiced sitting more upright, engaging her core, and maintaining eye contact in a way that supported confidence. After several weeks of focused sessions, she reported a noticeable improvement not only in her physical comfort but in how colleagues responded to her ideas. Her body language began to reflect the clarity and assertiveness she wanted to convey, leading to healthier and more productive work relationships. This case highlighted how my expertise in posture and biomechanics, combined with years of clinical experience, can influence not just physical health but interpersonal success.
Listen to Understand
Listen to understand.
We often listen to respond or defend. We're not actually listening—we're thinking about our response. The most important need in a relationship is to feel heard, to be seen. If we give the gift of listening and empathy to our partners, we completely deflate any sense of it being an argument or conflict.
The goal is not to agree, fix, solve, etc....the goal is to better understand each other.
When we feel heard and understood, we're more likely to be willing to compromise or be vulnerable.
Vulnerability is necessary for intimacy (emotional and sexual).
It all starts with the skill to listen to understand. To turn off that voice in our heads thinking up a response or encouraging you to defend yourself.
Encourage Vulnerability and Empathy
As a relationship expert, I can explain how certain techniques directly contribute to healthier relationships by fostering trust, open communication, and emotional intimacy:
Encouraging Vulnerability: When one partner feels safe to be open and vulnerable, it often encourages the other to do the same. This mutual vulnerability allows for deeper emotional connections, making both partners feel valued and understood.
Building Empathy Through Perspective-Taking: By encouraging each partner to step into the other’s shoes, this technique nurtures empathy. Understanding each other’s feelings and viewpoints reduces misunderstandings and promotes a more compassionate relationship dynamic.
Setting Boundaries Respectfully: Setting healthy boundaries enables both partners to feel respected and secure. It helps define personal space and needs—which reduces potential conflicts and ensures that both individuals feel their autonomy is valued.
Positive Reinforcement of Good Habits: Recognizing and reinforcing positive behaviors, such as open communication and acts of kindness, strengthens these habits over time. This creates a positive cycle where both partners feel appreciated and encouraged to put effort into the relationship.
Each of these techniques creates a foundation of trust, mutual respect, and understanding—all essential for a healthy and thriving relationship.
